(the cookies i baked, that i then realized matched my apron. gender. role.)
But the thing is, I really don't know why I love those things. But do I love doing those things, or have I always been told I should love them? And if I love those things, because I have always been told I should, but now I really do, does it matter?
I guess maybe the balance is to do things that aren't within my role as a woman, traditionally. but there again, lies a problem. sort of. it's not that i don't want to, or that i wouldn't enjoy it, but i've never really had much of a reason (or a teacher) to know how to fix my car, or build something cool, or mow the grass and cook on the grill. that's not to say i'm not learning some of those things. I can put a hammer and nail to work, and am in the process of ensuring my oil changing abilities. i can (now, thanks to the guidance of a friend, yes a woman friend), change a tire. i can light a grill, but never do.
so maybe women just are more naturally drawn to 'domestic' work and have deeper urges to care for people. or, maybe that's a load of shit and i'm way deeper programmed than i ever thought i was before.
I can install a mean garbage disposal. (Because I am awesome at basic plumbing or because I *need* to fix it to do my woman's work of washing dishes? Hmmmm...) I failed mowing 101 because my lines weren't straight enough and my dad wasn't pleased, haha, but I taught my mother how to extract the threads of a broken lighbulb (potato! Is this "wifely knowledge" or just a way to save money from replacing a light fixture?) I can get wax out of carpet and build furniture without directions. I fix vacuums on the regular. (Granted, a man showed me how.) I taught my fellow female roommate how to grill hamburgers. I'm a beast at setting up Internet networks. I carry my own groceries because, biologically, my center of gravity is lower to the ground and I make a pretty good packhorse. Learning basic car maintenance is a more a matter of responsibility than manliness (you're crusing around in a death pod... blowing a tire on the highway because you don't understand tire pressure is just dangerous.) And damn if there isn't something sexy about a man who can make French toast... but stay away from my zucchini bread because I do it best. Aprons are awesome because they keep our clothes clean. Just one pair of jeans you *don't* have to launder when you get eggwash all over them. Aprons can afford to get a little gross, haha. Crusty, smelly jeans are little unacceptable in class.
ReplyDeleteIt IS all about balance, Molly. I find if I spend too much time thinking on gender roles (am I making ten PBJ sandwiches because I am a mother figure who wants to provide or because I am just an awesome human being who would appreciate someone doing a favor like that for me?) then nothing becomes fun anymore. Keep cooking because your cupcakes/cakes/cookies etc. are amaaaaaazing, not because you're "supposed" to. You're lucky enough to have that kind of talent. My mother's chocolate chip cookies are terrible, mine are far superior. :D
Animals don't "have" to ponder their gender roles vs. instinct. I suppose where that line blurs is where you are having your problem. Simply put - I like being a woman; I love being a human more.
Then again, maybe *I* and more deeply programmed than I thought as well...
<3 Mere
you're great, and joe has proposed gender talk and coffee. i vote yes.
ReplyDeleteOnly if Joe serves *us* the coffee, hahaha.
ReplyDelete