hopefull

during a plan columbia presentation (beehive), they talked about how a lot of folks in that area said getting together and playing music and dancing is how they dealt with fucked up shit in their lives. the bees said how they at first thought they were kidding, that they were dealing with chainsaw mass murders, large scale livelihood and cultural degradation, and the challenge of staying alive with music and dancing?

i can't say i know those challenges, or anything comparable, but it's not crazy to think that dancing with people and making music to fit your culture is crazy. this weekend- at crabb fest- really made that hit home. it felt so good to dance and rage and push and be pushed to get hit and get hugged and feel happiness swelling inside and have the happiness and love of others be almost tangible. you could almost reach your arm out and touch it, it was so thick.

but even more than great music and wondrous dancing, was just seeing so many folks who are who they are, regardless of their age or how long they've been 'doing it.' being in school, and taking part in a radical student culture, i've seen a lot of folks 'drop out.' their reasons, i don't know, and i don't want to pretend that i do or imply they are wrong. it could be as simple as they weren't having fun anymore or it didn't make sense to them. but no matter what, it is really disheartening. it makes it feel like it's not possible to continue for the rest of our lives. maybe there's a reason most punks, hippies, radicals, whatever- are young. it only gets harder and there are fewer and fewer folks your age to support you in your own personal fight. and cindy has served me as an example of someone who keeps going, and not only keeps going, but as max sings about in his song about her and caty- they keep loving it. it's not an obligation, or not wanting to 'drop out' or anything else. it's that they love it. so, to be there to celebrate cindy's 40th birthday and have other folks from across the country- of all ages (literally a 1 month year old to 45+)- really makes your heart swell. and it makes me know that it is possible. we don't have to give up. out love for each other and deep seeded desire to build a better community and a better place to live- is not in vain and we shouldn't feel obligated to normalize ourselves once we get older. i picked up a copy of 'rad dad' (#17), and am so excited to read it. dads, mothers, sisters, AUNTS, daughters- whatever- we can all be rad. no matter what is happening in our lives and where we are at a given time- we can still have this love, and this fight.




as i was bouncing around- smashing into people and be smashed back into- i thought- what am i doing? this makes me so happy. there is no crabb fest, no brown town, no spooktober, no snarlas, no bright effs in rock creek, wv. and not even really in machias, maine. but, maybe that's the point. maybe i wont' have this for a while, maybe it won't even be here when i return- but maybe that's ok. maybe i can go off an start something somewhere. connect with other folks who feel the same way, start my own punk band (!). after all, one thing doris has taught me- is to go explore. find yourself and your community. create new communities, meet new people and never loose the ones who are your core.