Came and Went

August came...

and then it went.

And a whole lot happened in between. It was a month filled to the max with the whirlwind. Once landing in Machias- there wasn't much time before things got totally insane for the summer work party.

{swimming with tink at 6 mile lake}

{lending a hand at the electronic waste day-- it was an appalling amount of trashed computers etc. gross!}

The work party was super full on this year- with more happening, more people, more meals, more, more, more! than ever before. If you wanna see a more in depth break down of what the month of a 60+ person work party looks like in Machias, Maine- you can check out the blog Go Worker Bees. A couple of these photos are from my camera, but a bunch are also from the talented and lovely Nico.

But, here are just a few things from the month...

{I spent a lot of time in the beginning filling in whatever holes needed filled- which- often looked like teaching folks to make yogurt and granola}

{One thing that was new this year, was weekly full workparty meetings. We were aiming to provide a space for real time feedback about how it was going, and to give project groups a little more autonomy on how they went about their projects. It seems the first two weeks went really well, but at some point we crossed the threshold of manageable numbers, and some of our systems weren't quite equipped. We're since received a lot of feedback from people. Some of it positive, some of it critical--- all things to learn from}

{I lead a experimental mind-mapping workshop about the coal presentation for workparty-ers who are familiar with the poster. Each small group of people created their own mind map over the poster, using what they know about the poster and the lens that they bring. One group looked at the poster just through the story of water. It went pretty well, but could use some changing before I do it again...}

{A favorite beehive game quickly became a favorite workparty game. We spent many pre-sunday meetings, post-dinner-into-the-dark, and random killing time moments to play ninja. It's hella fun... i'll teach you sometime}

{One of the mega projects we took on- was rebuilding the deck that is over the waterfall. It used to be a hydrodam, and when it got turned into a deck--- but no one could use it. A person could easily slip through the railings, and the support beams were far and few between. SO! we ripped it up, and put it back together-- making sure it was done in time to be used as the main dance floor for the blackfly ball this year.}

{two car loads of folks took a little trip up north- to new brunswick canada- for an rally to ban fracking. To spite being late (eep! time change!? ah!!), we got there in time for the end of the rally and were able to exchange some stories from the coal fields of WV to the potential gas fields of Canada. It wasn't as much of a learning opportunity as I would have liked, but I heard some stories and met a lot of outraged folks- who were actively working to protect their drinking water. It mostly just made me want to run back to ohio... but... not yet. soon!}

{Some folks pulled together a little prisoner solidarity session to support climate activist Tim DeChristopher. He was recently sentenced to federal prison for 2 years- after disrupting an (arguably illegal) oil and gas lease auction. Since prisoners can't get sent a poster in the mail (or anything else to provide a little beauty), we sent the completed closed version of the True Cost of Coal to him, on the backs of post cards. A little puzzle to be put together on his wall}

{Food was a major challenge of the workparty- feeding 60 people for 3 meals a day... is kinda hard. I had very little to do with food this summer (which, is pretty heartbreaking for me), but it was amazing to watch all the food roll in. A whole lot of it we bought- but we also got all kinds of friend prices from farms, did lots of harvesting at friendly gardens near by, and other sorts of shoe-string budget gimmicks for cheaper food}

{On a saturday afternoon, some folks put together a library cuddlepuddle reading of the little prince. It's a magical little book, filled with all sorts of deep wisdom- with a childlike whimsical tone.
"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."

You should read it. It's best read with 10 other people, taking turns reading, while hanging out in a library. Or, so I learned this summer at any rate.}

{On rare occasions, we remembered we didn't have to eat outside, and we ate in the park across the street.}

{my mama sent me a package... mailed with lots of love and lots of cool looking stamps}

{of course, there was TONS of baking to do. This year, my workload meant that I didn't have time to bake- so i mostly just deligated it out... but did get to teach some basics before i did that}

{similar to last year, we had skill shares once a week where folks could share different skills with anyone who was interested in learning about them. I only made it to... two? or something the whole work party, but one of them was a reusable menstrual pad workshop. It was really great, and when our time ran out, we headed downstairs to listen in on the workshop about consent.}

{One thing that was really amazing that happened- was we had told the Down East Coastal Conservancy we'd paint a puppet theater for them to use during the blueberry festival. We gathered a team of folks to make it happen-- and this is what they made! Its the most beautiful puppet theater I've even seen-- seems likely it might be the most beautiful one to ever exist.}

{Sometimes, Erin tickles me. alot.}

{Another major project we started was created a wheel chair lift on the outside of the Grange- to make the upstairs accessible to more folks! It's not done yet, but it's well on the way. It is a pretty major undertaking to do- and included DAYS and DAYS of welding work by our lovely maintainANT matt- resulting in this wild rail-ish system being put up. The electric isn't on yet to make it fully go, but it's close! It's so exciting! In a county with an majorly aging population, this project means a whole lot.}

{one day, i was supposed to be rolling posters with some folks upstairs- when i learned *GASP* some of them had not ever seen a coal presentation. It seems unjust to ask people to roll posters when they didn't know what was happening on it- so we took a detour and spent most the afternoon work chunk talking about it instead. Cole captured a moment of me sharing the story. Which- happens to be why I joined up with the bees in the first place, and is my favorite thing to do...}

{another of my favorite things to do- is bake bread. it fills me in a way thats kinda hard to explain. but i really love it. A couple times during the workparty, I was able to get up extra early to help bake tons of amazing bread with good friends. So heartwarming}

{A major highlight was seeing my friend Bobb Hatt- who biked all the way here from Columbus! By himself! whattt!?! I didn't actually get to hang with him that much- but it felt really great to have someone who really knows me around. Plus, I got to do some painting with him. It was a pretty crazy painting project- the local healthfood store paid us to paint the side of their building- which mostly we used scaffolding for- but there was one section that we had to use a 3 story extension ladder to get to... it was really fun to be up on the very top, reaching as far as possible to get the tiles... but also totally insanely scary. eep! Do not fret, we tamed that dragon!}

{we also rolled a million and three posters-- we had large groups of people hunkering in the upstairs of the grange rolling away for days.}

The workparty ended up being more challenging for me than i had expected. Its made me think about a lot of things- but the top 3 themes that I keep finding myself chewing over are choice, expectations, and what it means to contribute.

***

I've come to understand the 1st two to be integrally connected (actually they are all pretty connected to each other). And... there's too much to say in a blog post. But, I've been thinking about it alot. One of the most challenging things for me (personally) this summer was understanding my role and how I was or was not contributing to a larger picture (and to myself?). A while back (in the midst of it all), i was encouraged to write about it (on my blog!). So... here goes.

What the heck does it mean to contribute anyway??

I think one of the things that I struggled with most this summer, was understanding my role and how I made meaning out of it. Unlike last summer, this years workparty was filled with lots of little pieces of work for me, none of it making a complete picture- work that I've come to call- the whirlwind. This often left me feeling like I wasn't really doing that much, like I was just doing things without much purpose or intention, or that what I was doing really wasn't very significant (this is mostly where it rams directly into choice and expectations).

While it often felt that way- I feel pretty confident it's not true and that the work I was doing was significant. And maybe the reason it felt like it wasn't was because the way i was seeing my contribution to the larger work. The whirlwind has a way of sucking up all your time and spitting you out- feeling a little lost and confused about what you just did (and in my case, strongly noting the things you didn't do). And doing the little pieces to a large puzzle often means that my work didn't have a finish line, a crossed off to-do list, or something I could look at and feel accomplished.

That is very challenging for me. However, a completed (color coded, prioritized) to-do list isn't the only was to contribute to something. When working with so many different people, things don't always clearly land on one persons plate or the other- but often fall into that gray area in between. Collaborating. Sometimes, contributing might just look like doing the background work- be that the dishes, the phone calls and emails, or just nonstop answering questions- it all makes the big machine go.

The whirlwind--- it doesn't feel that rewarding, sometimes- but like all other pieces to a puzzle- its an incredible valuable way to contribute.

(wait- did i answer the question about what it means to contribute? hmm...)

***

Of course, there is also what it all lead up to--- the BLACKFLY BALL!!! AHHH!!

some highlight photos, post ball madness, and more to come! (whats the goal? to get them up before i hit the road in less than a week- for an sure-to-be-epic 10 weeks traveling through out the midwest! think I can do it? we'll see...)

{erin- helping me change my bandages. i wrecked my bicycle and was left with some pretty tender road rash etc. But, i'm being well taken care of and a 3 days in- its healing really fast.}

spaces, places, and homes

As I headed out of Rock Creek, noting the 'Rock Creek: Unincorporated' sign in my side view mirror- it felt big. Really big. I was leaving Rock Creek, I was leaving WV, I was leaving the home I was so grateful to have had- even if it was just for 6 months.

{pad thai- for squirrels birthday dinner}

{hug talking- we do it}

{Post blair pizza- best kind? grapes and rosemary. no, i'm not joking. its so good}

{somehow- June had passed. The Blair March had passed... woah. That calendar changed more quickly than i can recall any other calendar changing}

but right as I was leaving, right as my heart seemed to drop into my stomach, and my eyes wanted to cry- i got a message on my phone- 'mere hours from home.' it was perfect. it's not infrequent that i tell people- i'm lucky, because i have so many homes. in this scenario, i was leaving one home, to go to another home (central ohio). in the past-- little while-- i've been in my home of wv, my central ohio home, and now i'm in my maine home. it's always painful to leave one, but it's always so nice to get to another. i'm so lucky, but also perpetually heartbroken. I've got a deep sense of place- both for spaces i've only begin to know and for homes that made me who i am.

{the last super long, wonder around the house, tooth brushing session.... ahh.. clean teeth}

But before I got to Machias, and before I got to Ohio... I was in WV. Enjoying life after the march on Blair Mountain, and just riding the whirlwind that was my last few weeks in the valley. I made a pretty full on reportback from Volunteer Coordinating- including accomplishments, unaccomplished tasks, and recommendations- which felt great to hand over to EmmaKate, the powerhouse taking on volunteer coordination. I tried my best to keep my opinions on the next steps for the Blair Mountain campaign to myself- and even though it's really hard to accept my role in that campaign is over- its important to know--- and its important to let others make the decisions. I got to start developing workplans with volunteers- giving folks a chance to create autonomous, consensual, productive, accountable, and useful work loads--- perhaps for the first time in CRMW history.

{group photo of CRMW Summer Interns 2011- in front of the house even though Eli INSISTED it would be horrible lighting... and we shouldn't do it there}

{more group photo- not in front of the house- to appease mr shewel}

I had asked a buncha CRMW folks to sit down and talk about how they'd like to see fracking and mtr intersect. Particularly, how can i be an agent of change moving between these two movements- that to spite many similarities- have barely brushed each other? the conversation was useful, informative- but very circular and remained fairly vague. One thing that I've been turning over in my head- a lot- was this piece of advice went something like this... 'work for a ban. we almost had one, and settled for regulation. regulation has not stopped mtr, and it has not protected communities.' as i continue to think about work in ohio, with Ohio Alliance for People and the Environment and otherwise- that advice sits inside my head... just sorta waiting for me to do something with it... (or not?).

I had time to reflect on some lessons learned-- maybe most notably having a better understanding of what conflicts deserve time and energy, and what ones we should just let go. I thought about the amazing people i got to know- and all the ones who i didn't really have a chance to know but have impacted my life in incredible ways. And, while giving myself some space to think, I also was able to connect a little more. I got to spend my final night in WV celebrating- the many many movement birthdays that happen in July.

{How do a bunch of environmentalists celebrate birthdays? Well- we go to see the Appalachian Power sponsored minor league baseball team- the West Viriginia Power- play a game. Duh.}

{unintentionally twins. or so they claim...}

{Crazy caught a t-shirt. "Chucks Healthy Challenge"- sooo lucky!}

The next morning, we went for a swim in Peach Tree falls. To spite the smell of dead opossum (really)- the swim was nice. After returning home to newhouse- i got to play the 'find all the things that i had packed into my car and my housemates took out and hid' game-- for hours. Plus, newhouse left me a message on the dry erase board, "I slashed your tired <3" (they joke... they joke).

{friends at swimming holes}

{Becks loves male bodies thighs. Especially white ones. mmm

{goodbye hugs.}

When I got into Ohio that evening- I made my first stop to see my new nephew, Cohen, and see the rest of my brothers family. Cohen is tinier than I remember babies being (and way more squishy than i remember them being...), and so incredibly presious. Kayla remembered my name ('lolly' is pretty close at any rate) and couldn't stop dancing to 'head shoulders knees and toes'- which of course- is hearbreakingly cute. Next stop? To see my sisters family- including the boys and the very very pregnant- could bust any day- sister of mine. On my final day with my family- I told them I wouldn't see them again until winter. Winter!? that's too long...

{Cohen. Oh. My. Gosh. My heart explodes.}

{I got to babysit with my mama- and we took them all to the park (well, not Cohen, who is pretty much tied to Jennifer still- obviously). It was cute.}

{going for a walk}

{how'd they get so cute? srsly. what? so cute!}


{crackers for lunch. crackers all the time}

{Babies in a baby pool. Ohhh babies!}

{bo ys in spe ed os. matching ones. whhhatt??}

{Potato prints to finish the 3rd zine (from the mountains to the flatlands of ohio) I've made for the babies in my family. Since moving outta ohio-- a year ago?-- I've been making little stories about my life, to keep close and try and not let them forget me. This is the 1st one I'm putting out into the world. Fair warning- its pretty smooshy}

AND my mama told me... she'd be putting out house on the market as soon as next spring. that's under a year. I spent the first... 19?... years of my life at my mamas house. My first memory- my dad pushing me on the red swing set in the back yard. the bedroom i shared with my sister- when it had one peptobismal pink wall and she would throw all of the things i left on the floor on top of me and my bed, when i was trying (pretending?) to sleep. now it sits mostly empty- with blazin' red walls- filled with all the things morgan didn't want enough to take with her. the downstairs bathroom- where used to be the only place anyone could be alone- is now one of two bathrooms (sorta...). The barn in the backyard- that seemed like a fair refuge to run to after a car pulled over after the dirver got hit by mulberries we were throwing at cars from the tree. The no-longer chicken coop my dad burnt down- without knocking it down first- resulting in one of the times the fire department had to come to our house. the front garden that katie cepec and i pulled out a bunch of plants- when we were trying to help my mama weed. the tree that turns such magnificent colors that you see it well down the road in the fall- marking our turn well before you could see the road.

{family photo- i was probably 4 years old}

I haven't lived there- really- in 5 years. Its a home for me, but more so- it's a place. with stories- both the kind you write about (in a blog) and the ones you don't really want to remember much. It's a place that helped me grow up. It used to be home to 2 adults, 4 children, and uh... 3 large indoor dogs and a cat. Now, it's the home of my mama-- (and in january, maybe it'll be my home place for abit, again). But- she'll sell it, she'll move. Her new house? Sure, I bet it'll become a home for me- after all- my mama will live there- but my house- sitting on the corned of 229 and peru twp rd... might change into just a space. but probably not- it'll always be a place.

{my two elder siblings and i-- in maybe--- 1991 or so}

While in Ohio- I really prioritized people in my life. I got to spend a lotta time with my family, and a lotta time with mattie. I went to Emmas really fun graduation party- and got to see her family for the first time in a while. I saw Kate, my soon to be married friend who I hadn't seen- since well before leaving athens. I hung out and talked politics and revolution with miss dawson, will klatt, and aaron. I enjoyed a delightful lunch with my friend leslie- at her parents home (i always LOVE meeting the parents of my friends, and seeing the home they grew up in). I went to a highschool reunion (sorta).

{Lunch on the bank of Alum Creek- I went Kayaking with emma and papabear for about 4 hours, and followed i up the next day by canoeing behind my sisters house- the scioto- with mattie and a potential housemate, sean}

After meeting Kate and fantozi for lunch- I went over to Fantozi's parents house- and got to see Kates beautiful wedding dress, and their super cute Shasta. They bought and renovated an old Shasta to take on their honeymoon. They are SO cute. I'm so sad I can't make it to their wedding... which is gonna be hella cute--- family style pasta and homemade pies!?--but I'm so excited for them--- other than their move to Wyoming- which--- is just too far...

{The soon to be married Kate and Fantozi- with their honeymoon shasta}

And after being in Ohio- for ten days- I felt nothing but love for that place. I love seeing people I know when I walk down the street, being close enough to my family that if my sister had her baby- I could easily make her dinner, watch her boys, and meet the newest addition. I love seeing friends- and catching up with each other and feeling the comfort you only get with people who already know you- and are your friends because they know you. I love knowing exactly how much and when i need to break when i go around a curve, and not needing to know street names because i just know where i'm going. i love waking up and making my mama breakfast, picking berries with babies and wrestling them in a field of firefllies. i love being next to mattie and getting a chance to get to know columbus. i love day dreaming about moving there, getting a job, and doing lots and lots of listening while i try and figure out- how i can help stop fracking.

{babies eating smores. How did eating smores get cute?!}

and i love being in maine- at the hive. i've been here just about a week- and while only my toes seem to have actually landed- i'm excited for the rest of my feet to plant themselves.

{first dinner at the grange- made with extra love by miss erin}

And- believe it or not-- I once again have a new nephew to day dream about- Fritz Todd. (no photos have been seen... yet)


i'm so lucky and so heartbroken. all at once.