visiting ohio

feels super weird to say that i 'visited' ohio. didn't i live there for the past 23 years??

I failed to take many photos of the good ol' OH... but took a few when I remembered...

gems on noses with super cute boys named finn.

pot luck and friends!

Open mic at the union. Dandelion sings... with backup dancers!

beehive poster in the office of sustainability! yay!

bobb hatt!


and on my trip to the midwest- i went to court for g20 stuff (yup- that was a full year ago). After my lawyer showed up late (awesome!) I found out that they had double booked the court room and could not hold my case that day. Cool! So I had two options 1) take a plea or 2) postpone. So, I took a plea- seeming as I don't know where I'll physically be in a week let alone 3 months and have no income to continue paying for things like flights to Pitt. So, that sucked. But! On a good note, the ACLU has put together a suit against the police for their uncalled for actions the night I (and many others) were arrested. So here's to wishing the folks able to partake in the suit some very serious luck (and justice).

and now- i'm in Troy, NY and need to get ready for a workshop this afternoon. Yay!

The True Cost of Coal

Holy Shit!

We launched the True Cost of Coal today! You may have gotten an email from the beehive today (if not- you should be signed up) letting you and the rest of the world know- we did it! It's done!

Not only is the coal poster officially hatched- but so is a new website and particularly a new webstore that look SO great and are so much easier to use then the last one!

And, as to be expected- i made cupcakes to celebrate! The whole hive has been super busy getting things ready and up, but there have been a dedicated few who have been zombies to the computer in order to get things out and ready. So for them particularly- celebration cupcakes were in order.


Also, other very exciting news from the Beehive. I'm going to go on tour with the hive this fall! I don't know exactly where the tour will lead me- possibly down the east coast- but I'll be traveling from mid september to mid december. That means I'll be back in Ohio for the holidays and have decided to stay until mid January- which means I'll have an entire month for family and friends, central ohio, athens, and clevland! Then- to rock creek, WV- to give it a whirl and see what I can make work. (What I have yet to problem solve is my court date- but that will work out- right?)

Woo!

keepin it positive

it's been a really challenging day (namely- the information that my lawyer has dropped my g20 case without leaving me enough time to get a public defender. cool.) but, i also realize that this day ruiner is just a bump, but really shits pretty wonderful.

a) spending so many days and evenings with wonderful friends. drinking beers, riding bikes, eating food, watching movies, gardening, having sleepovers.

b) i am feeling confident in my ability to move to wv in the fall and have things work out well there- including the exciting news that i can (and will) make the case for having a bed i call my own (with sheets!) and that can happen, there can be an increase in vegetables within the meals, car insurance can in one way or another be covered, and committing to 1 year with a 3 month check in (to further commit to a full 2 years) is totally reasonable and great.

c) while i keep saying i have faith in things, like the justice system to figure its shit out and not find me guilt or that my lawyer situation would work out, and then realize it was wildly misplace- my faith in my family being there unconditionally and no matter what has once again proven to be rightfully placed and justified. my mother is so wonderful.

d) my paperwork for graduation has gone through and i believe i got a passport in the mail (well- my mothers mail)

I am my mothers daughter

My mother is a pretty amazing woman. If I ever am half as amazing as her, it will be a good day. Recently, a few examples of why she is so wonderful has surfaced.

1) Haiti
Last time I saw her, she was saying she wants to take a class in wilderness first responder. Why? So this summer, after the red cross and all other major relief teams check out of Haiti and we continue and economic policy that has put them in such a burdened social space, my mother hopes to go there and help. To go into the small villages, the rural areas where the Red Cross didn't touch and help people any way she can. People to people.

2) Pittsburgh
So, tomorrow, I head to Pittsburgh for my 3rd time, for my pre-trial. My mother has told me if no friends were able to accompany me, she would. But, her mother has been sick and she's had to take a lot of work off and can't go. So she suggests my brother goes with me.

Me: Wait, you mean Colin who without irony has an American flag hanging in his
living room?
Mom: Yes...
Me: To go with his little sister to court for protesting the G20?
Mom: hha... uhh... yeah.

After calling every other family member to see if someone could go with me (to no real avail), I (re)told her it really isn't a big deal. Just a meeting.

Mom: But someone should be there to support you.
Me: Yeah, I know you all support me. And this isn't even the trial.
Mom: But what if they do something crazy, like try to put you in prison for 7 years, someone should be there to stand up for you.
Me: ha, mom, I'm not going to prison, especially not on Friday. Worse case is a huge fine, and that won't happen until the real trial.
Mom: Ok. I feel guilty.
Me: Mom! You don't need to feel guilty, really, it's fine.
Mom: Ok, but I'll go to the trial. And I'll wear a shirt that says something.
Me: Ha, ok.
Mom: Like 'Leave my baby alone, you big meanie heads'
Me: Yeah, I think that will get the message across.

And then there are all the times, when I was growing up, that she subtly encouraged me to think. To actually think. Like when some kids at my school were wearing pro-life shirts (for pro-life day) and I told her that. She just asked, what do you think about that? Why? I didn't have an answer then, but I remember spending lots of time after that thinking about it.

Or when I was telling her that after a kick boxing class I saw some people doing jiu-jitsu, and it looked really cool. Do I want to try? Well, they're all men. So? Yeah I guess it doesn't matter. I can do that.


(my mother and I, circa summer 1987)

If I'm lucky, I'll be something like my mom.

Impending Doom

I woke up today with that knot in your stomach that tells you something is wrong. It's not quiet butterflies, because I always think about that as a happy and scared feeling- like when you're nervous but excited- but it feels almost the same. Only it's not from happiness, at least I don't think it is. It's from something else.

I thought a good breakfast, a quick run, hitting the bags around a little and doing so without being late to class would help. Wrong. Still there. So, I've decided it's probably from a feeling of impending doom. Something is going to happen, I can feel it, and maybe it's terrible, maybe it's doom. Maybe it's from the stack of dishes in my kitchen sink or maybe it's the who-knows-when-but-its-for-certain Apocalypse. More likely it's something in between.

Like the fucking G20. After being arrested for walking through a public park at night, I've been dealing with what is often called 'the justice system' in Pittsburgh for several months now. After my December 29th arraignment, I found myself being offered an ARD with 50 hours of community service and 9 months of probation. Oh, that's if my background check clears- which is not super likely (thanks underage drinking charge I never bothered to expunge). Either way, I don't want to take the deal. That's no deal at all, saying 'yes- i am a bad person and i do deserve to have a cop watch over me for 9 months.' No thanks. So then, the simple question- if I don't take this 'deal,' what is the maximum penalty? Oh? I won't know that until my pre-trial, scheduled after I deny the deal. Perfect. Nothing like rejecting a deal when you have no idea what the consequences could be. Oh yeah, and it feels really great to be singled out by the police- as I and one friend are the only ones I know of who have misdemeanor charges and are still held up in court (without filing an appeal that is). Even if that's not true- it sure does feel that way.

Or maybe it's something like graduating. Come June, as I just confirmed with my adviser today, I will no longer be a 'student.' To say I am not excited by this prospect of doing something else with my life would be a lie. I can't wait. I am tired of the way we are taught to learn, what we are taught, and the fact that learning and doing apparently do not co-exist within the 'higher education' system here at OU. But, none the less- I've been in school since I was... 4 or 5. Preschool, Kindergarten, Elementary, Middle, High, College. That is the past 17 years of my life or more I've spent doing this. Studying. Reading, writing, listening, 'learning.' Even if all my intentions for the year or so after graduation work out to a t, it's still scary. What if I find out, being a student is what I'm good at, that doing things and learning from reality is not something I do well. What then? Grad School? PhD? Become a teacher? Shit.

Or maybe it's the fear of loosing people- which no doubt is closely attached to graduating. But graduation or not, this is the longest time I've gone without speaking to my best friend since grade school- it's been months. Since the summer. I miss her, and on top of that I think I miss that feeling of 'no matter what.' My family is no matter what, but can you get that without being kin, without being tied to someone through blood? Can there be people in your life, that no matter happens, they will be there for you and you will be there for them?

Perhaps it's something else that I can't even name. Maybe it's just that the future is unwritten and for the first time, I'm really believing that saying. The only thing I am certain of, is right now. And maybe that isn't even so certain, I don't know. And if tomorrow, a year from now, ten years from now is completely unwritten, then that means someone has to write it. I guess that means me. Which, gives me that feeling in my stomach. I guess I don't know if it's butterflies or impending doom. Maybe both?