in the belly of the beast

Appalachia Rising: March on Blair Mountain.

Woah.

So many things took place, so many extreme feelings. I've been having trouble figuring out how to tell people about it. What pieces do I tell, how do I put it into one narrative, that tells the full story, communicated the epic truth? I don't really have an answer. So, I'm taking a different route. Here are snippets of the week. Just small crumbs, little pieces. Maybe one day I'll understand how they all fit together. (maybe not?)

On Sunday night, after a full day of trainings, orientation, and full on information download, there was an emergency organizing meeting called. It was a trend that would continue throughout the week. Why did we have a meeting after having meetings and stuff all day? Because after lots of hard work- we found out that yet another camp site had pulled out. We had been working for months to secure camp sites. For the week or so leading up to the march, our sites kept falling out. We'd scramble and find new ones. Totally secure ones. We knocked on doors of folks with big yards, we found paid camp sites, we had verbal agreements with parks to let us stay there. We had camp sites. And sunday night, we found out- another one dropped. So, we had a choice to make. Keep pushing, make it work, try our hardest, or... not.

We decided, we can make a suggestion but really- its not up to us. It's up to the marchers. What do they want to do? What would feel good to them? So, at around 10:30 pm- we called everyone together. For a big ol' group moment. And a moment it was.

Sarah opened the space- letting folks know what was happening. That we lost our camp sites. We were still trying to find more. That this was happening- because of what we're doing. We're fighting the coal industry, where it is strongest, most deeply rooted, where it has formed a strangle hold on the entire area. Therefore the fairly simply task of sleeping out, is coated with hardship. This is part of the struggle, it's what we're up against.

{The march just outside of Marmet- walking with the coal trucks. Photo: Cheshire Tongkat}

Then, this amazing thing happened. The room erupted in cheers, and clapping... we were not anywhere close to quitting. When asked what we should do, some folks said 'lets march in rotating groups so we can march 24 hours a day, all through the night, and we can rotate who sleeps' (a suggestion much of the room loved, but all organizers winced at). Folks said lets do it. We're going to do it. Saro lead us into song- and we sang "ain't gonna let intimidation/big coal/NOBODY gonna turn us around." And Dustin Steele closed us out- reminding us-- that we are in the belly of the beast. We have to do this. We are challenging power, we are changing power, we are creating power.

{Dustin- giving one of many powerful speeches. Photo: Cheshire Tongkat}

The next morning, we had about 250 people marching together through the streets of Marmet, WV. Marching along the original march route those union fighting miners took 90 years ago. We marched, together. We looked almost as strong as we are.

{Heading out of town. Photo: Brian Farkas, AP article}

As the week moved on, so did the hardships. On monday, the police told us we had to leave our camp site. That the verbal commitment we had- didn't really matter and the powers at be were calling strongly for us to move (shockingly, this isn't the story of 'those bad police' but is much more complicated and they actually worked with us...). So, at about 10 pm- after having our tents set, our speakers and musicians wrapping up- and folks getting ready to hit the tent--- we called another group meeting. Time to pack up and leave. Time to figure out how to shuttle 250 people back to marmet for sleeping- and figure out what to do in the morning. Rough.
{camp site}

But, as we called folks together for yet another dreaded 'we can't believe we have to tell you this' moment... we began to see a trend. A trend of the marchers being vigilant. Not willing to let these powers turn us around. Not letting intimidation weaken our spirits. Not letting a lack of sleep, a large amount of unknowns, or any other hurdle that could come out way prevent us from marching to Blair Mountain.

By midweek, we had it in our schedule to shuttle folks back and forth each night, and each morning. We gave up on finding new campsites, and we accepted the harsh truth. We had an amazing team of shuttle drivers step up. Folks lent their cars and their time to moving 250 people each day. By the end, we were spending about 8 hours a day shuttling people. No joke.

{Included in our many many vehicle chain? Portapotties on trailers. Perhaps one of the smartest things we did. Photo: Mark Haller}

It's a little hard to say what exactly happened on the march. I had been given the task of March Marshall- and stayed several hundred feet in front of the march- trying to slow cars, trucks, motorcyles- down before they hit the long wave of marchers. But what I do know- is how much support there was.

{marshaling the long line of marchers. luckily, i was part of a really grand team of folks. photo: }

We drove by signs that said folks were with us. People came out to their porch to wave. Folks handed out cold bottles of water from coolers filled with ice, handed out ice cold sodas (sierra mist to be precise), a fella gave his hat to a marcher, people stopped their cars to give donations, wave of school children rushed over to the fence and waved and shouted, and high fives went out to all the marchers. It was amazing. It is amazing.

{High Fives in Madison. Photo: Wren}

One fella came out in his driveway on his four-wheeler. He was holding a small bouquet of flowers and a sign that read 'thank you.' A woman we passed hollered 'you have water? you can fill up here with my hose if you want!" Kyle and I said we had plenty, but thanks for the offer. She offered water to the entire line. 250 people.

{photo: Cheshire Tongkat}

That's not to say, there weren't folks who sped up when they drove by us, or who gave a little swerve in our direction. Its not that folks didn't hold signs and yell 'go home treehuggers,' 'coal keeps your lights on,' 'we love coal' or 'coal feeds my family.' They did. The closer we got to Blair, the more intense it got. It was an incredibly visible proof that towns, neighbors, families- are divided. Sometimes, every other home rotated between 'welcome and thank you' to 'go home and friends of coal.' It's for real.

{Family sitting in front of the school in Marmet. Photo: Cheshire Tongkat}

I stopped to speak to a woman and her husband who were standing by the side of the road- red bandannas worn proud- who said they'd join us tomorrow. I had the privilege of getting their phone number and calling them to let them know when and where to meet us. When they arrived, the woman told me 'i saw my niece drive by with her 'other family', yelling at us. I told her she can't talk to me like that.' It's between families. The tensions are strong, thick, and incredibly real.

Mid week, I was standing on the side of the road, waiting for a rest break to be over, and Larry said to me 'i've been waiting my whole life for this.' i smiled and said something to the effect of 'well, you did a lot of work to make it happen.' modestly he replied that he didn't really do much to make this happen, that others- like myself- were the ones doing the work. and in that moment, i had the privilege of acknowledging that hes been doing this work for a long time, and without his work, none of this would be possible. i was able to thank Larry Gibson.

{Larry- standing strong, as always. On the mornings we had to be up at 5:30 am- larry was always the first one up, waking the masses, asking how folks were doing. amazing. photo: Cheshire Tongkat}

after one of the many nights of little sleep, and lots of work, I found myself waiting for the second round of shuttles to leave from Marmet and take us to the spot we'd start marching from. Which meant I had at least an hour and a half. Naturally, I decided I'd rest my eyes for a moment. Before I knew it, Kyle was waking me up to say the last shuttle would be leaving soon, so I better get ready. As it turns out, I had slept under the registration table for at least a full hour- probably more- all while people were coming into the building and were being registered. Embarrassing and an accurate depiction of the week.

{another photo of me catching rest at any moment possible- this time during a lunch break. photo: Paul Corbit Brown}

After a relatively short rally, we got hundreds of folks to head up the mountain. Blair mountain. We took over the road, and along the way we placed historical markers. We marched up that mountain, holding the incredibly beautiful signs made by the art build team.

{marchers heading up Blair Mountain. photo: Mark Haller}

When we got to the top, about 150 folks broke off and climbed up the company road (illegally) and onto the battlefield where archeological work has been taking place. I wasn't with them, so it's hard to say what that experience was like. The rest of the marches, went up the a public access road just up the way- where we all gathered. We had made it to the top, some of us had marched over 50 miles to get there, some of us had traveled from across the globe, some of us from the holler over... but we were all there. together.

{Photo: Elias Schewel}

Instead of joining the rally cry at the top, I took a moment to chat. One thing about being a marshal all week was that I didn't have capacity to get to know anyone on the march (other than Kyle, my co-marshaller). So, I decided to chat up two elderly fellas sitting on a guard rail on the margins of the rally. They were both retired UMWA miners. One from Logan, one from ___. They talked my ear off, about the good ol' days. About how miners these days don't know what they are missing. How women deserve the right to make choices about their bodies, and nobody else should have a say. How these mountains are part of who they are, who their families have always been. How private company land is making it harder to carry on traditions, to care for themselves and their own. How one of them is now a bus driver, and he's proud to say they just unionized. How the women in their families know how to get by, how to get their families through- but it depends on the land. How they were proud to be here, with us, with all these people. It was amazing, they were so amazing. It was so humbling to just be able to listen.

The march ended over a week ago. Everyone went home, I went home (err... to a home. one of many). There's lots of work to be done, but the march its self- is over. It was hard. I was pushed further than I knew was possible. I cried, a lot. I saw others cry, alot. I saw and felt real and raw anger, sadness, disappointment, and hurt from people who were working towards a common goal. There are wounds still open. Mediation is being scheduled, for organizers, so we can learn from these hard lessons, so we can heal our relationships, so we can keep working together.

I did more than I knew was possible. I saw a group of committed people do more together than I knew was possible. I saw extreme strength and resistance within the movement. I felt solidarity. Real solidarity. I saw our movement grow- get bigger and stronger.

This story isn't over. There is healing to be done, there is a mountain yet to be saved, there is local connections to be followed up on... this narrative is in its infancy. The Battle of Blair Mountain continues.

I don't know how the story will end, what the next chapter will look like, or what flow the plot will take- but for now- I feel confident we won. I don't really know what that even means, but I think we won.

{Cohen Sigdon Shea- the newest addition to my family- another reason to fight... and win}

{want more photos of the march? Check out my wonderful photo sources! Cheshire, Wren, and Paul photos at March On Blair Mountain Flickr. Mark Haller Flickr. and Elias Schewel Flickr}

it hits hard, when it hits home.

Once again, the pace of life has been very very fast. Since my last post- I've moved to WV, did a show in KY (by myself!), spent time in ohio (never enough), and learned a lot about fracking. So first things first... fracking. (what the frack!?)

I recently went to Pittsburgh to learn about Hydrological Fracturing, with some other bees. I'd seen gasland, I spent some time reading about it online, and speaking with a woman from an Neogap working on fracking issues in ohio-- and I knew it wasn't good. To spite feeling fairly uninformed- I felt it was really bad.

(Gas drills in Hickory, PA)

After spending a few days around PA, speaking to different organizations and individuals that are connected to fracking- my fears have been fully confirmed (and then some). It's hard to give the full download of what's happening with fracking (and I'm sure I couldn't give it even if I wanted to), so instead I'll just encourage a few sites for the basic information...
Gasland: What's Fracking?
Sierra Club Natural Gas site (with side links to 'what is fracking')
Fracking 101 (wordy, not very user friendly- but a useful over view)

(This is an image of a drill site in Hickory, PA. A place that's been very hard hit by fracking.)

The process- in a very general sense- means drilling 3,000- 8,000 feet down and then out ('a mile down, a mile out') in order to push high pressure water/sand/checmical solution (frack fluid) down so that it fractures the shale formation and releases lots of gas. Above is a general diagram of the geology that is being drilled into... notice the ground water it goes through.

When we were in Pittsburgh, we had a chance to chat with a handful of people who helped us get a grasp of what was what. We talked to some amazing organizers with Marcellus Protest, who also have a very great website that is worth checking out. We met with the Shadbush Collective as well, who had a Fracking 101 workshop at the Pittsburgh free school we went to. We also met with Mountain Watershed Association, based in Melcroft. There we learned a lot about leases and permits- which was incredibly useful to me. We were shown a very useful website, called fractracker, which if you log into it the 'datatool' page, there are maps of all the wells in PA. We also learned there that only 1% of drilling jobs are going to folks from PA. So much for a job boom, huh?

The biggest overaching thing we heard about was water. The fracking process uses TONS of water. Literally. Each time a well is fracked, it uses anywhere between 1 and 8 million gallons of water- and each well can be fracked many times over. That's a lot of water! But it gets worse, because the water isn't just 'water' but instead it becomes frack fluid. Which means that there are all sorts of gnarly chemicals added to the water- like formaldehyde, naphthalene (moth balls- a neurotoxin), and ethylene glycole (antifreeze). Lots of the chemicals that are used (70%!!!) effect our skin, eyes, or other sensory organs.

Ok, so that doesn't sound good, but what's worse? Not only does that frack fluid likely make it into the aquifers (I mean, check out that diagram again...), but in PA it gets put into the drinking water... on purpose! Since oil and gas are exempt from the clean water and clean air acts (what!? it's true!), this frack fluid is being sent to municipal water treatment plants. But, 'treatment plant' suggests it gets treated. Nope, instead it just gets diluted. Above is a map of the treatment plants that accept it. And this is an interactive map that shows where this frack fluid is going in more detail.

Another way they get ride of Frack Fluid is by creating frack ponds. We met a woman names Jenn who has a frack pond 900 ft away from her home. Many of the chemicals that are used are VOCs (volatile organic compounds), which means they pretty easily get into the air. Over and over again, people (including Jenn) have reported getting nose bleeds, headaches and experiencing memory loss when their homes near fracking wells/ponds.

We met with Erik in his home to hear about whats going on in the area, and also meet with a powerhouse names Dorthy who gave us lots of context.
Erik was lovely enough to show us around Hickory--- we drove around pretty randomly. Pretty much every turn had a whole new sight line of gas drills.

We came up one road with, which ended at a farm which had all of these signs. That's a whole lot of leases and future wells. Yikes.

There are lots of smaller caps around. These are wells that (mostly) have been fracked- and perhaps will be fracked again but are currently pretty passively collecting gas. They look pretty similar to shallow well collectors, like the ones around my mamas house.

Flaring is another big issue that many folks talked about. Gas will be light for days at a time- creating huge flames that shoot out. This is not only bright and loud, but it's also releasing all sorts of things into the air.

We also had a lovely 'mixer' pot luck with lots of different folks in Pittsburgh who are working on Fracking. It was so nice to be able to connenct with folks there. I was able to connect more with Anne who is also from ohio and trying to get a handle on what's going on there, as well as other folks from shadbush.

So that's sort of what I learned. Mostly what I learned was that this shit is scary. I learned that with the current loophole in regulations for fracking, preventing leases from being signed may be the best 'first step' thing to do. Right now, there are well over 400 leases signed in ohio. I also had it ingrained a bit more that it takes all angles of resistance to be effective- landowner coalitions, community bans of fracking (like in Pittsburgh!) and challenging corporate personhood, legislative work- like the house bill- the FRAC Act (Fracturing Responsibility and Awareness to Chemical Act), large scale media work or protests, water testing and legal battles over getting clean water to individuals effected by fracking... all of it. All of the time, from every angle and every place and every person. Which- makes me feel totally crazed and is shaking my view pretty hard about what role I do, or do not play in this movement.
I've been trying to reach out to anyone and everyone I know in Ohio who is working on this. They've put in a verticle test well in Belmont County that will drill down 14,000 feet, which suggests gas companies are looking into the Utica Shale. This significantly ups the ante- not only because it's deeper, in some good old NIMBYism fashion ('not in my back yard'), its scary as hell because it covers almost all of ohio- including Marion County, Morrow county, and Delaware county (sisters family, brothers family, mother and father- aka all of them).

books

i was recently asked to come up with a book list for a friend. so here is what i have:


lost mountain by eric reese
a nonfiction account of the life and death of a mountain. it starts with a mountain who has just been permitted for MTR mining and follows it through that process- to its death. It also has some great naratives about folks living with that mountain. this book is why i care about mtr if that tells you anything.



assatta by assatta shakur
an insanely amazing book about assata shakur- who was a black revolutionary and was involved with the black panthers. it is one of those books that makes you question everything you ever read in a history text book and really opens the door to black struggles, especially within the 'justice system.' it's really accessible and easy to read, it's written like someone talking to you, not someone writing you a manifesto.






the monkey wrench gang by edward abbey
this one is fictional and about a group of folks out west who pick up monkey wrenching (sabatage) in the name of environmental protection. its good stuff, not 'educational' but a fun read and one that sort of lets you delve into issues of justification of our actions.


doris (anthology) by cindy crabb
a complication of zines and its so great. the way its written is frank and lets you think about things alot and reflect on your own life while hearing adventures and trials of someone elses life. really good (and an easy one to read a few pages at a a time, or read all night long with a cup of coffee).








nonviolent communication by marshall b rosenberg
this one is sort of akward to start reading. its written in a 'self help' way (or so i imagine) and at first was a little much for me. but the content is really great and i think i took a lot out of it. i think it would be best to read with housemates or friends so you could all practice together, because its such a different way of communicating i feel like i would have benefited from doing that. but even with that sort of awkward not very positive sounding note, i really do suggest reading it.


fighting back in appalachia edited by stephen l fisher

this one is a compilation of essays/articles about resistance in appalachia. i haven't read all of it, but have really enjoyed some of them and feel like its really applicabale and there are lessons to be learned from it. my favorite so far was Racism and Organizing in Appalachia which brought up some really powerful ideas of never avoiding hard topics and always confronting and working against things like racism, even when the cause we're working towards might seem unconnected (because really- it's not).




strange as this weather has been by ann pancake
a really wonderful fictional story that feel very based in reality (and i'm pretty positive it is). a story of a wv family dealing with mtr, and the personal struggles that take place in that process. this book for real made me cry, like really hard.




soil not oil by vandana shiva
vandana shiva is one of those people put into the hero category, so i'm a little prejudice. but, this book takes the time to connect issues of food production with climate change while focusing on environmental justice and the solutions to both climate change, food security, and poverty.







the vulneravle planet by john bellamy foster and the bridge at the end of the world by james speth
both of these books look at the global economic system and how that is leading us towards an ecological collapse beyond our control. ultimately, they both make the case for drastic overhauls of the world as we know it, in order to preseve the possibility of life in the future. they're both really good, and i couldn't decide which one to focus on, so i just went for both. (vulnerable plant is shorter and maybe more accessible)



democracy matters by cornell west
i find cornell west's language a little hard to digest and had to take some time reading this one. but he's an insanely smart guy and really lays out the need to go back to a better and more real democratic way. when i read it, i was also reading assatta, which was a great counter balance.




making things and doing stuff edited by kyle bravo
this isn't really a 'reading' book but a compilation of diy guides. in a way, these are things you can probably find online- but some of them i would never think to look up- and its nice to have things in print. everything from making beer, book binding, shoe repair, dildos and tips for traveling.





there are a lot of things here that are missing. you can see a pretty clear theme- environmental issues- which means that many things are missing. I feel like women/gender, native american and latin american issues are big holes not being addressed at all here. hopefully i'll get better at educating myself, and my post graduation reading list (which is still in the works) can be a good resource to delve into some readings on those issues.

abandoned

after several hours of discussion with a dear friend this weekend, some things have really been on my mind. mostly, what i see as the impending doom that is our future, globally but also in the united states. i'm no 2012 believer, but all signs are telling me, life as we know it is on its way out.


the international energy administration (iea)- which from my understanding is a fairly conservative international organization- has changed its expected global peak oil date from 2020 to 2012 this past winter. we are so far from any sort of post oil consumptive society, and remain so dependent on oil for our basic needs (like food), that a steady increase in oil prices really will likely have detrimental effects on life as we know it. on security, well being, our ability to survive.


we've seen more and more extreme natural disasters. like the 8.8 earthquake in chile, or the 7.0 in haiti. we're had volcanic ash turning europe into a tunnel of darkness (yet, the only discussion about it is the ability to fly. why is that?). flooding, drought, heat waves.


man made disasters. like the oil spill in the gulf of mexico that will undoubtedly contribute to the unreal rate of extinction we're currently seeing across our world.



all of this to say, it's scary. we've been raised our whole life being told if we go to school, get an education, a job, a house, a steady income- that we'll be fine. we'll have everything we need. we'll be comfortable and never hungry. in fact, we'll need a membership to a gym because we'll be eating so much it will make us ill. but what happens when that isn't true? when a college degree won't mean anything (does it now?) other than 4 years spent learning things that won't help me and those i love survive. what good does learning about microbes or the history of the environmental movement do if i can't grow my own food and preserve it? if i don't know how to fix a whole in the roof, or build a house without store bought oil made products (or with them, for the matter)? if i can't take care of my basic needs (which, i can't) what can i do?


and in a way, what am i doing working on coal issues? i feel like we've already lost the battle. i feel like it's too late. while i do believe we should still try, try for sake of that chance i'm wrong and things will be fine, fight to preserve our dignity, fight because we don't know what else to do. but in that process, are we also failing to prepare for this impending doom? this apocalypse? if folks (like me) in the valley can't provide for themselves, then to what effect is it to stop exploitative coal mining practices? i fully intend on doing everything within my power to improve this world, and the world to come, and feel like my future endeavors are part of that. but is it short sited to fight coal issues? are we so far gone that we should work on food security? (i'm not sure).

feeling pessimistic on this raining may day (the day after the under celebrated may day), i'm preparing to delve into studying. to spend several hours of my day, and days to come, preparing for a multiple choice test that will give me access (or prevent access) to a piece of paper that society has placed so much value on (a diploma). the expectations are telling me, get your degree. and get it with a high gpa. higher education is the cause we're fighting for. you need it to get by. but now that i've spent (wasted?) four years working towards this piece of paper, was it worth it?



'the schools we are going to are reflections of the society that created them. nobody is going to give you the education you need to overthrow them. nobody is going to teach you your true history, teach you your true heroes, if they know that that knowlwdge will help set you free. schools in amerika are interested in brainwashing people with amerikanism, giving them a little bit of education, and training them in skills they need to fill the positions the capitalist system requires. as long as we expect amerika's school to educate us, we will remain ignorant'

(Assata: an autobiography- by Assatta Shakur)

wild edibles

earlier this week, Jim Merkel was in athens for a presentation during earth month. an interesting fella no doubt, but one of the most interesting things he talked about was wild edibles. i guess i've known for a while that wild edibles are good. high in nutrients and if harvested carefully, sustainable (thought, with all of the habitat fragmentation out there- it is a questionable practice these days).

My housemate and I went scavenging for wild edibles this weekend. He's sort of like a mini-wild edible book, and pointed out about a million and a half more things in the forest than i can remember. but, what we picked, i now know- and thought i'd share. but, unfortunatley, i've been unable to find nutrition facts on these things.


Trout Lilies

These delightful little things, are trout lilies. They are sort of spotted, like trout, with lighter green markings. These tend to grow on the shady side of hills, down in the valley. They are similar to spinach, and are sort of sweet. They make a great salad, and I imagine you could cook them down too, but I don't plan on it. When we were out, the patches were few and far between, so again, being aware of the amount you're taking is key.


Ramps

Ramps, ramps, ramps. These well known appalachian wilds are great. Sort of garlicy, sort of oniony. They have fairly large, long green leaves and tend to have two leaves per plant (from what I've seen anyway. maybe they get more later in the season). These tend to grow in patches, and hang opposite side of the valley from the trout lilies. Many people dig up the bulb of these, because it tends to be spicier and pack a bigger punch. But, you don't need to do that and you probably shouldn't. if you take ramps out by their bulbs, you've killed the plant, it won't come back. and the leaves are plenty full of flavor. These were more abundant and the patches tended to be very full, but it's always good to be aware of how much you're picking. i tried to only take one leaf from each plant, and to not over harvest any patch. these can be used sort of like green onions. cook them, use them raw on salads etc. i have not cooked with them yet, so am not sure what happens to their flavor intensity, but i did make a really delicious ramp pesto (as inspired by integration acres). from a brief look, you can find lots of recipes online using ramps (none of which i've tested). But, fair warning, as with strong garlic, ramps can fend off those close to you (particularly close to your mouth). totally worth it.


Wild Ginger

These lovely leaves are also found around these parts, but seem to be pretty uncommon. i didn't notice (or perhaps more accurately, joe didn't point out to me) any kind of growth pattern, but these were very sparse. Therefore, we only took a couple of leaves, mostly just to try them out. We made tea with them (along with a few other things, like pine needles- which hold a ton of vitamin c).Like ramps, the roots can be harvested and apparently are quite wonderful, but that kills the plant. And since these were so sparse, we didn't even try them. We've planted some ginger in our yard, so hopefully in a couple years folks living here can have a solid source of wild ginger.

Red Buds and Violets

There are a lot of wild flowers that are edible, but these two are great, and both of them are in my yard. Violets don't hold too much flavor, but they look very nice and likely pack a decent amount of nutrients. Red buds, however, do have some nice sweet flavor. Both of these look lovely on a fresh salad, but in this case I added them to some homemade yogurt. (which, is so easy to make and wonderful- you can check out how from the Ohio Food Shed blog, Eat With The Season)


other totally edible things around here: dandelion leaves, root, and flower, stinging nettles, wild onions, milkweed, wild lettuce, garlic mustard, Sheppards purse, clover flower, wild asparagus- and probably a lot more.

oh- and just saying- take someone out with you who knows whats happening before you go around eating a bunch of things you're not sure of...

you're killing me, ohio

literally. I love ohio. It's a part of me. I feel a real connection to this place, particularly these foothills.

Which is why, perhaps, it hurts so badly to know what Ohio has on it's plate. Ohio is dirty, and getting ready to be dirtier.

Energy- how much we produce and how we do that is what I'm talking about. While there are (sadly) probably more on the table, here's what I have caught wind of for what is has barreling down on Ohio. This is not what I know, but what I hear. Some of this is yet to be seen, just heard from people keeping their ears to the ground. Other things are well underway. And even more things are missing from this list completely.


Starting closest to me and moving clockwise around the state:

Meigs County (Purple dot): a potential expansion of carbon sequestration into Ohio from WV. This is particuarly bad news as it is creating new coal infrastructure and would likely pave the way for 'clean coal' plants to pop up in Meigs County.

Meigs County (Pink dot): the AMP coal plant has been stopped. But, plans to create energy at that site are still in the works, potentially has biomass or natural gas.

Middletown (green): a coke plant is there, with permits and all. Coke is a form of energy from coal, that is used to create steal. From my limited understanding of it, coke is particularly destructive and has a very high level of public health threat. Luckily, there seems to be local community resistance to the project that has been organizing against the plant.

Clyde (light blue dot): this one seems largely based in hear say, but from the sounds of it, there is a incinerator on its way for the Clyde.


Cleveland (yellow dot): another garbage incinerator, also based largely on what has been heard. The proposal is apparently a pyrolysis incinerator- a type of gasification. It's location inside of Cleveland increased the immediate threat is poses, as more people breath the air in an urban environment- but it's location also makes it accessible to organize against.

Alliance (green dot): another incinerator, with permits. There seems to be little local resistance. I don't really know too much about it.

Wellsville (blue dot): There are well established works for a coal-to-liquid plant there. I don't know much of what that means, bu apparently it is more harmful than a 'regular' coal plant, and the liquid energy goes to things like military jets (increasing the harmful effects no doubt). There seems to be little resistance from the community, and possibly even support, but the funding for the plant may not be there.

Belmont County (red dot): this one was sort of intentionally saved for last. This isn't exactly a dirty energy source, but a dirty energy result. A slurry impound to be precise. This is one I just heard about late last night, but want to give a little more information about what it is- from my current understanding.

The backstory: Murray Energy (Bob Murray) owns 60% of Ohio's coal production. Murray energy currently has a slurry impoundment near this proposed one, but come mid 2011, it will be full. This becomes problematic for Murray Energy, as they need a way to store all the nasty, toxic, dirty waste from cleaning our coal. These imprisonments contains heavy metals, like mercury and arsenic, which have a way of destroying water sheds. Of particular note is the clean, 'pristine' stream- casey run- is planned to be diverted (being a water source for people, and for an endangered species of salamander). In 2004, Murray Energy applied for a new impoundment and the EPA denied it, but basically formed a committee to find alternatives. From my understanding, this committee was highly political. Several alternatives were suggested, but Murray Energy said they were not economically feasible- with the exception of their original plan.

Currently, another (slightly tweaked) proposal for the impoundment is up. As I understand it, the Ohio EPA sees approving this permit to be outside the law, but they are up against significant political (financial) weight to approve it. If it gets rejected, Murray Energy has apparently said 12,000 miners will loose jobs in the area. It seems this is likely to be true. Which, is what makes this a hard and complicated issue.

There is a hearing scheduled for Tuesday March 30 in Clairsville. It seems it will be a very heated hearing, where both sides are likely to make a showing- and will likely see this issue as a concern of survival.

Here is the Sierra Clubs site with information about it.









I want to fight for Ohio. I want to fight for my right, for my nephews right, to be able to live here and to be healthy while doing so.

corn, squash and beans- oh my!

when all elese fails...

Pro:
mtr work
travel/see country
constant adventure
meet new people often
healthy home/community
very close relationship with a few people
draw attention nationally
less resistance/welcomed
now or never
maybe non profti, maybe americorp

Con:
hard to see direct results
very far from family
lack of sense of place
develop less meaningful relationships
time in car
(maybe) no debt payment/non profit status


Pro:
mtr work
direct connection to land, people, effect
non profit status/debt payment
close(er) to family
steady home
already have relationships
develop new/strong relationships
ability to work (for money) when need be in ohio
community connection

Con:
cowboy culture/in house dynamics
mental health/safe space questionable
need for long term commitment (community)
unaddressed privilege
unconnected person/social choices
environment health- air, water
emotionally challenging/outsider/unwelcome by many

pro:
close to home
know the ropes
feel connected to place/not fleeing
meaningful work/fulfillment
paid (actual money!)
nonprofit status/debt payment
fulfill a very real need
able to garden/build a home
connect to community other than 'work'
build on established relationships
meet new people


con:
stay in ohio
student organizing/same/no break
stagnation (leads to settling down!)
start debt repayment--> continue debt repayment
need reliable car
housing/food cost


i think what it comes down to is now or never. yikes.

dropping out

I keep finding myself in the same dilemma.

It started with sds. good, old, trusty sds. a staple in my life for a couple years. i give credit to sds for my radicalization, for my found passion, for my involvement, for my friends, for a sense of belonging and community, and for my general growth. sds pushed me to think about things i never spent much time thinking about. sds made me believe (and then disbelieve) in a revolution. sds taught me to put my faith in people, in each other. without sds, i very seriously doubt my ability to critically think and question the socialization i've been developed in. sds was great. i met new people with new ideas, i got angry, i pumped my fist in the air and yelled at the bourgeois for not taking to the streets, for telling their children to step in line, for working 9 to 5's, for shopping at walmart. i went to workshops, i learned strategy, i participated in difficult conversations about race, about privilege.

but after a while, i got tired of yelling. i got tired of pumping my fist and talking about a revolution inside a classroom, followed by commercial music and cheap beer. i wanted more. i wanted to do something, to effect something. i wanted my new found ideals to be put into action. real action. not a action, but to turn my ideals into something concrete, something tangible.

i stuck with it. i went to the meetings and talked strategy. how to best achieve something, what experiences i had to share. i tried to delve into what our purpose was, who we are, what we want, and maybe most importantly- how we are going to get it. but, when athens sds chose the campaign for winter quarter to be to 'end the war' i felt like i failed.

the strength of an organization should not rely on any one person. likewise, no one person should feel their identity- their success- is that of an organization.

sds was no longer what i needed for personal fulfillment. granted, no organization will ever provide fulfillment, but if it doesn't add to it, then maybe it's not for me (anymore). and after a certain point of trying, i had to realize sds was not able or willing to transform itself into what i needed. but the trick to it is, i still think sds is important. i still believe in the organization, in the purpose. without sds, i would not be who i am today. i want other people, other big eyed and open eared students at ou to have sds around. it was so important to me, i wanted it to continue. to be there for the next person, to guide someone else into their own being.

when i decided to stop going to sds, i knew it might be to the detriment of athens sds. i was hoping that was not the case, that it would live on. so far, it's future is up in the air, but it's not looking good. that makes me really sad.

leaving sds was a good choice i think. but, as i grow frustrated with other organizations, i keep asking myself- at what point do the meetings, the discussions, the grand plans, become road blocks to my ability to do things. i think a big part of it has to do with student organizing. i feel increasingly frustrated and disempowered by student organizing- across campus, across the state, across the country. maybe it's because i'm moving on, i am realizing within a few months, i won't be a student. maybe student organizing is based on a population i often don't relate that well to, feel frustrated with, yet self associate with. but maybe it's not me, maybe there are very serious problems within the 'movement' that should be addressed. and if all the people who see these problems choose to leave- because they are frustrated, tired, disempowered- will they ever get addressed or will they continue to fester?

i wonder- how long do i stick it out before i drop out?

Bikes, Community, and Racism

So in the past two days, I've had interesting interaction involving my bike.

The first one is a really positive one- so I'll start there. The past few weeks, after leaving it outside for a very raining weekend without riding it, my bike has been acting funny. It started by being kind of clinky and then the gears would jump. So a lovely friend of mine offered to help me grease up the chains to see if that would help. It was super cold the night we did it, and since our hands were frozen we only did a little, but it helped. Then a few days later, my grand roommate came inside and said he and his dad oiled it more for me. I guess that happened a week ago or so- but it was really nice of them. Then Saturday night I was telling Bobb how it wasn't even shifting gears at all anymore or if it did it would really jerk me forward in the process. So, he looked at it and found I had a broken link in my chain. I almost freaked out because without a bike I am screwed for transportation. But, it was still ride-able and I had likely been riding it like that for a couple days. And he filled up my tires- which were really low.

Bobb also said I should just go to the bike co-op tomorrow, since he didn't have the tools to take the link out. I had planned on really getting some school work done that day, but went anyway. I had never actually been there before- which seems really crazy because I love that Athens has such a great bike co-op. But anyway, I headed across town the next afternoon (sunday) and found the co-op- and of course- Erik was there to help. He rocked, he showed me how to do it, and then I changed the links (several times, because we forgot to put it in the railer thing and then I broke a few links- so I got lots of practice). The bike co-op was pretty sweet, with TONS of bikes around, and boxes of parts all over the place. It was awesome. And I brought Erik a piece of the spicy chocolate cake I made the other day to thank him for his help. (Giving food I make to people is probably one of my favorite things to do- ever.)

So that was a really great experience. So many people helped me- which feels really wonderful to know I am involved in such a great community, I discovered the bike co-op and its wonderfulness, and I learned how to fix my bike chain. Win!

But then today- as I was riding up town to be at work to send an email about earth month funding things- at 8 in the morning (not my ideal) in the really cold air- I had a really bad experience. Normally, when I ride down Richland Ave I don't exactly receive smiles and friendly waves, but today- was the worst I've ever experienced riding a bike. A car that ended up behind me honked several times and then speed around me. Naturally, we were both stopped at the next light. The woman in the passenger seat stuck her head out of the car and started yelling something. I couldn't hear what, because there was a big truck next to me- but she looked really angry. Then the driver opened the door- and I think my heart stopped. I thought this person was going to get out- and try to fight me or something. Luckily, they didn't. Maybe there was just something stuck in the door or maybe they decided better of it- but either way, the door shut pretty much right after it opened. My heart didn't start returning to a normal speed until the light changed and the car pulled away.


But, see, it's more complicated than just a bad experience with a driver on the road. That I could handle. Sure, it would upset me and I would be a little bitter- but the thing is... the woman was black. And as her head was sticking out the window yelling, all these negative stereotypes came raging into my head. I didn't want them there, but there they were. Making me fearful of the person in that car, more fearful than I would have if they were white. If they looked like me. Then, when the car door opened, I thought to myself there was probably a black man, getting ready to step out of his car and start a fight (the assumption of the driver being a man is also concerning- but one thing at a time). How could I feel that way? What the hell is wrong with me, that because the passenger of that car was black, I was more afraid.

So all day I've been thinking about it. And the thing is, I've just never really been in environments that were very racially diverse. That within itself is something that maybe I should spend some time examining, but that's currently a fact of my life. I live in a monoculture- a white, middle class monoculture. So most experiences I have with people of other ethnic backgrounds are not from actual experience. I've read some books, been to workshops, and had discussions about race. I thought I got it. I thought that overall, I had broken down those stereotypes- those negative portrayals of black people as bad. Those images come at us all the time, be it from the news, movies, tv, or music- they are out there. Unfair depictions of people. I guess no one is accurately depicted in mainstream (any?) media, but the combination of extreme bias with regards to race in the media (and in the general public I guess) and my lack of experience to counter act those messages- they effected me.

I'm not bringing this up because it's easy- or because I want to admit to being racist. But- when that woman was yelling at me- I didn't see her as a person- I saw her as a black woman. And all my misinformed, racist, reinforced, deeply suppressed opinions of what that means- came out inside my head.

I guess, my ability to see that happening is a good thing. I can't really work towards a more just future if I hold onto racist notions without confronting them and challenging them. I guess I'm not really sure how I can work to break down racism- within myself or in a larger context- but it seems like I need to do some exploring to make sure I really address this.

Looks like I have some serious work to do.

'I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die'

Stupid, yet common saying. Real dumb.

I keep finding myself in conversations with fellow women who about those 'personal things.' The two topics to come up specifically have been menstrual cycles and birth control.

I'll just touch on the latter briefly, but hopefully will come back to it later, when I can do a little more research on it. That being said, my opinion is just that, an opinion- and one that is only loosely based on fact and more so based on feelings. But, as someone who was on it for many years, I know I am glad to no longer be. While yes it provided me with three significant benefits- pregnancy prevention, decreased cramps, and clear skin- it also had negative effects- probably the most direct and significant one was a severe lack of emotion. Tricking your body into believing it is pregnant by ingesting hormones on a daily basis seems pretty nuts.

But, periods are something I know a bit more about. My quest to deal with the fact that I, as a female, bleed for a few days a month, every month, sort of began when I was a sophomore. I woman named Lizzy, who I don't really know, brought up something called 'tampaction' at a Green Network meeting. Tamp Action huh? The concept, as she briefly explained, is largely based on the idea that tampons are harmful, and there are more positive alternatives.

Here is a pdf one-pager on tampaction.

Here's my own mini-tampaction break down. Tampons are bad news for many reasons. The reason I initially began thinking about it was the waste they produce, how many tampons, wrappers, applicators etc find their way into the trash. From there, I began to think about what exactly a tampon is. A piece of tightly bond cotton that has likely been grown with some pretty sick pesticides and then bleached to be extra white. Gross. I don't really want that inside of me. That was enough to sell me on alternatives and the one I went for was the mooncup.

The mooncup, which is similar to the Diva Cup, is a reusable menstrual cup. It's made from silicone and you insert it (similar to how a tampon goes in), then empty it out a couple times a day and repeat. You just wash it out. At first, it was hard to get used to, it made me get more up close and personal than I had ever really wanted to with my period, and it was uncomfortable to insert- and even more uncomfortable to take out. But once I got the hang out if, it's been great (and comfortable). I don't have to 'change' it as often as you do with tampons, and it's a lot cheaper (I think it cost around $40, but it only needs replaced like every ten years or something crazy).

But more important than the moon cup being more convenient etc, was the process of getting to know my body better and to stop feeling so ashamed of a menstrual cycle. I used to be someone who would do everything I could to hide getting a tampon out of by backpack, because I think we've all been taught that it's gross and something we shouldn't talk about. So i never did. But when I had to empty out a cup and wash it to prevent bleeding everywhere, I really began to be more comfortable about my period. We all deal with it, so why are we ashamed? It's part of being a woman.

The moon cup, just like a tampon in my experience, sometimes leaks though. I've stained more than one pair of underwear because of it. So, I often wear liners in addition to wearing my moon cup, but then when I stopped to think about it, disposable liners are almost as nutty as tampons. So, I made my own. It was really easy to do, but I also like sewing a lot so I guess it could be more difficult if you're not into it. But I made it out of an old flannel shirt (soft and nice) and a scrap sweatshirt piece. The ones I made are fairly thin, but they could be thinner or thicker. Many people don't any kind of insert and use homemade liners only, which I also think is a good option (but not for me). But basically I just made a little pouch the shape of underwear (or a liner you may have bought) using two pieces of flannel, leaving one end open. I then turned it the right side out and put a piece of sweatshirt inside and sewed up the end. I also sewed a circle-ish shape inside the middle to keep the sweatshirt piece from crinkling up when I put it in the washing machine. So now I have a washable, reusable, free, thin liner I can wear- just in case.



The last thing I have started to do, which has just been recently, is to keep a menstrual calendar. The idea is basically if you keep track of your period, you can start to realize how long it is and how often it comes- so you can better expect it. In addition, I've tried to make note on the same calendar of what days I am feeling particularly moody. I've never heard of this part before, but I think maybe if I can see patterns in days that I am feeling super crazed, then I can know when I can expect that, too. The idea there being that if I know it's PMS or whatnot, then I can tell myself maybe that is why I am feeling really upset/frustrated/sad, and even tell other people that I am feeling that way and I do not mean to take those feeling out on them. Like I said, I just started tracking this, so we'll see if it is helpful, but I think it will be.

It's been a good experience for me to explore some options, and I think it's important to be comfortable with yourself. And if that means tampons, moon cups, or any other things than that's just fine. How to deal with a menstrual cycle is a very personal choice, but I think I've found some good options and feel comfortable about it, so I thought I'd share.

Winter of Contintment

Sitting in my kitchen, thinking about today. It's sunday. It's probably about 15 degrees outside with a couple inches of snow on the ground. It's not the kind of snow you can have a snowball fight with, but it makes for excellent sledding. I have a long list of school work that I need to do today. I don't want to do any of it.

This is the first time I've had a blog, with the exception of something I had to to for class once. I'm not sure I want one, but I sort of feel it might be really good to do. A way to give myself time to think and reflect, an easy way to keep people updated on my day-to-day life. I don't think I will tell people about it at first though, just wait and see how I feel about it after a little bit. Maybe I'll share it with others, maybe it will be more for me. I really felt the need to have one when I was staying in WV for a few weeks over the winter break from school. I wasn't there too long, but I felt so many wonderful things and I wanted to share it with people. There are just too many great people in my life to reasonably expect to continually speak to, and sending an email to people to 'update' them seemed really sad. Maybe a blog is in between those two. Or maybe it's way worse than any email. I guess I'll find out.

Keeping in touch with people is hard. When I am living in Athens, it seems easier. I see so many great people every day, and keeping up with my family and a handful of friends back in Delaware isn't too much. But it's funny how quickly you can loose track of people, forget who they are, and how you can't feel each other growing apart until it's too late. As I work towards graduation from school and consider my first time move from Ohio- I think about all the people who I do see everyday who I won't. I think about all the people who have graduated in recent years and moved away. How so many people have effected my life so wonderfully and I never speak to them anymore. Maybe that's the thing, maybe you're meant to grow apart from people, to meet new people, and to remember why you loved people when you were such great friends. I don't know. I don't really like that idea, but maybe that's just part of life. Either way, preventing what may be the inevitable is part of the reason for this blog.

But, I am really trying to enjoy the moment (hence the blog title). I hate how often people, and for how many years I, spend our lives looking for what is tomorrow or what was yesterday. I want to see today, to live today, and to really enjoy it. All of it. Even he bad stuff, I want to take it for what it is, to feel it. One way that I think I am working to really live in the moment, is to create seasonal wish lists. This idea came from the Summer of Freedom, which was this past summer. Part of it was to make a list of things you've always wanted to do, but for whatever reason never had. It was really great to have a list of things, from canning, to hitchhiking, to being honest, that I could look back on and encourage myself to do things. During Frunky Fresh Fall, I made one in my head. I probably accomplished negative of them. So this Winter (the Winter of Contentment) I'm making a list. I think it's a really great list.

- by only local dairy
- take one out of state, non political, trip
- learn to rock climb
- make bread twice a month
- cook three real meals a week, one with a friend
- camp in the cold
- go to two unitarian church services
- work with a community based project (not student based)
- read one not-for-school book
- enjoy the moment!
- take one trip to visit Ian
- take care of myself, mentally and physically, better
- put people first, remember my priorities
- continue to reduce the items i own
- get a passport
- line dry every load of laundry
- do at least one, non transportation- outdoor activity a week
- Saturdays are free days. no work, no way.

So far, so good.