I can't believe I forgot to share this story.
After the last day of the USSF, we all decided to go swimming in the 'secret spot' (which, of course, is no secret and well known by many). So, we went out to the light house off of Belle Isle and took a (skinny) dip into the Michigan River.
One friend decided to go for a real swim, and swam away from shore. As she got a while out when we noticed a speed boat heading her way. We all started to yell out to her. She had seen it and was starting to turn back, but we then realized the boat was heading directly at her, and it was doing so intentionally.
We quickly realized it was a coast guard boat. After scolding our swimming friend for, well swimming, they pulled up pretty close to the shore (and us). We all just sort of sat there, ducking neck deep into the water.
Coast Guard: Do you know it's illegal to swim in the Michigan River?
All (in unison): Nooooooo.
Coast Guard: Well, it is. Get out!
Someone: Uhh, we're a bit indecent.
Coast Guard: I don't care, get out!
Then we all proceeded to slowly crawl out of the water and moon the coast guard folk.